Sunday, July 27, 2008

Blog Entry, I CHOOSE YOU!

So I finished the first draft of my script, it looks really good too. I don't mean that literally because it’s still in my hand writing and that wouldn't even look good to someone who's drunk and dyslexic. But it’s got everything I want in it, action, drama, comedy, even more comedy. Well actually it’s not that action packed, and the drama in it is about at dramatic as an emo tween yelling at his parents. But it’s got comedy. Now I have to begin the process of taking it from hilarious to uproarious. Something I'm confident I can do, if not for ... the distractions. Yes as of late there have been many things distracting me, and taking me even further away from my ideal situation of being locked in a room with a word file for 18 hours a day. These menial actives include but are not limited to getting ready to go back to school, refilling financial aid, applying for loans, paying my first months rent, and I know some of you may disagree with me on this, but work sucks. My cover job as a gas station attendant has been getting worse and worse. I no longer have any third shift nights which were the reward for putting up with all you annoying ass customers in the day. And no, I can't do anything about "those crazy gas prices", and I also don't care if it’s a third of a cent cheaper at some station 20 miles from here. I was considering leaving early to spend an extra week doing nothing, but as much as it pains me I really need that one last check so when I go to college I can put of getting a new job for slightly longer. All and all though I think I'm ready to be done. summers been a hoot, you know bumming rides off people and working full time, but I'm ready to start my 8 course semester that also includes 2 positions on campus groups. Wait... wtf? 8 courses and 2 positions? Am I insane? I guess when I fail out I'm going to have to open a used car store with deals so insane it goes beyond funny and you feel so bad for me you're guilted into buying an SUV. but in all seriousness, I have 3, 3!, 0 credit hour courses this year, 4 if you include all the 046's I need to make up (I guess that’s a joke for Bowling Green film people who know what 046 is). And if I may make one more complaint about school really quick, with 8 courses only 1 of them requires books. 1 class worth of books? woohoo, right? NO! Mother f'ing English 2_0_something has $200 worth of books. $200! FOR ONE CLASS! JESUS TITTY SUCKING CHRIST! If the instructor is that strict about having so many books I can only fear the worst... that he's going to expect me to actually read some of them. I didn't go to college to pay loads of cash on books.... or did I? I guess other than that I'm also starting to look for my internship for next summer. Cause if there’s one thing film school has taught me so far it’s that film school is worthless and all that counts is your internships. well now that I'm good and angry at not having enough money I need to try and sleep so I can wake up and be at work in 5 hours, which isn't going to happen because I woke up at 6 pm today ... don't look down on me I'm still used to working third shift. Later, Bill Hader.

AND NO! I didn’t use any paragraph breaks…. I hope it pissed you off.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Straight up business.... in my pants

So, I'm writing a pilot. Old news, right? Well I'm going to let you all know about the progress, not the content just yet, but believe me it's good. Revolutionary almost. ok, sorry. so I've been filling out a spiral notebook with all the pre-text, you know; character evaluations from 4 different angles, arch conceptions for each of 6 episodes as well as a set of 4-5 interlocking series long stories, production notes from casting choices to ideas for music scores (thanks Will). But that’s nothing I haven't done for my other "pilots"... its in quotes because they never actually got written*. BUT... once I was satisfied with all that fun stuff, I actually started writing out the script. Now keep in mind when I say I wrote it out, I mean like on paper and in pencil. This means that to the untrained eye it looks like somebody ripped 5 legs off an ant and followed its tortured death run onto 50 pages of college rule.
I've got about a half of three fourths to three half fourths and a half of it finished, in laymen terms about 2-3 scenes left. Now it may not be my best writing ever, but by the time I re-write it out on a word file it will be. Honestly, I've cracked up at certain scenes over and over again. And I know that’s not saying much from a man who has stared at himself in the mirror for 2 hours straight. Clearly I admire myself... almost enviously. But this is some legit comedy here.
Now I don't work tomorrow, I could spend this time finishing up the rough draft, or even starting to type it out, but I thought you'd all want to hear form me instead. So it’s your fault if I don't get it done soon. But seriously I'm getting focused on this. A lot of you may know the way that I like to motivate myself best is with fear, specifically of pain. So I'm offering up this guarantee, if by the first day of classes at BG (Aug. 25) I don't have a version of the pilot typed up that I'm willing to show people than you can slap me. Across the face. 3 times. Only on that day, and you have to mention this blog first, otherwise I might have to run up on you with my crew (Hector). But seriously, i'ma get this done.
Moving on to the next step of the process. I need people who want to help me make this. People like co-producers, sound engineers, video editors, someone with a camera, script coverage ... whatever. Now I know you don't want to commit to something you haven't seen and which might be crap. But if you want to be considered for any kind of role you think you can manage, get at me. At the very least leave a comment here. And just remember, I will be famous. and when you come up to me in the future and say "oh Simon, you're so famous and rich, and only you can offer me that opportunity I've been looking for to help accomplish my dreams," this might be the deciding factor between me saying "sheeet, aint no thang" or "help, this homeless person who maybe looks familiar is assaulting me"

thats it for now, maybe next time I'll talk about something you care about. j/k you care about this.

* read all about it in "The Simon Koch: Origins"**
** not real***

Monday, July 14, 2008

did you know i sleep with 5 pillows?

so i had a recent conversation with everyone in my home town about "when are you getting your band back together?" the answer is no. but, it did remind me about the good times that were had. one thing in particular has come to mind and stayed there the past few days, a song that i (mostly) wrote the lyrics to called Fossil Fuel that goes:

I'm a little man with a crooked face,
I lost my love in outer space.
she said she's gone but i think theres more ,
I lost my love to a dinosaur!

When we die we turn to gasoline (x4)

When i first saw her i had a bone,
but that wood has turned to stone.
put you on paper cause it's easy to sell,
and i threw it out when it started to smell.

When we die we turn to gasoline (x4)

(kick ass bridge and outro)

now for the year or two since that's been floating on air waves, no one really understood it and i was even accused of just making up gibberish that was funny/cool to hear. but i assure you all it has a special meaning to me that involves lame emo feelings that i can relate to in the past couple days when I was doing some stupid crap.

in other news, i work at a gas station; so it also kind of relates to me that literal way. so i'm gonig to ask you something right now, for the love of Lincolns ghost, don't EVER go into a gas station and try and make some stupid joke about the "ridiculous" price of gas. i have to hear that 500 times a day, their not funny, your only going to get a pity laugh at best that is so ripe with sarcasm your likely to feel like a totally jack ass. and you should. other than that, and everyone doing stupid shit and getting mad at me like its my fault, the jobs ok. i get to work 2 over-nights a week and those are great. its like in clerks when Randal says "this job would be great if not for the customers." i literally play my old game boy and write.

and that's the best transition your going to get into my recent professional (hahaha) work. talk about meta-discourse. well I've mostly been working on the pilot to my independent series I'm currently working on. and fans of my work (again , hahaha) know that I've done silly shit like this before which never panned out. but my response to that is that i never actually got to scripting those, so I'm actually a lot further along than i have been at getting my spit together. not to mention the fine-fine folks i know in BG who are sure to help me should i finish a script and want to take it through the process of production. in fact i already have some actors in mind for certain characters (Dustin Meadows = the king of the hobos) the other thing i was intent on doing this summer was a spec script to the Disney channel original show "The Emperors New School" in order to be submitted with an application to the ABC writers fellowship program... but thats due in like 2-3 weeks.... so maybe next year. also been jotting down sketch ideas for my triumphant return as (co)head of writing staff for the Bad Genetics Comedy.

other than that and trying to make people hate me, I've been trying to get ready to go back to school (moving in August 16th). i still need like loans and other important stuff, but what ever. it's still summer and I've got beer in the fridge.

so thats the first kind of real post, hope it was as good for you as it was for me. back to listening to rave music and wondering why i can't fall asleep.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Have I got the look that, gets the looks?

Ok, changed the puke / neon green colors to something more classy, and put in some current pictures. Hopefully making it look nice will make me want to post more. One of the problems I’m having is coming up with a cool blog name that lets you know who I am and what I do. so far all I can think of is "what's Koch-ing?'" but even on the chance that people know my last name is pronounced "cook" and get the connection, its still incredibly cheesy and lame. So i'm'a just stick with the all business, straight up in your face, SFK:B or Simon F. Koch: Blog, unless you want to write me with a suggestion. I’ll even make a contest out of it. The person who helps me find a hip new title will win a free autographed copy of my self published comic book.... that I plan to release sometime in the next 2 years. I have about 4 pages done now.

Well that’s all for now, just a short update since I posted 2 days ago.


Monday, July 7, 2008

I'm Back Baby... and i promise to do something about this color scheme

I was searching my own name in Google (like I often do) and found this, after a year and a half of not using it. So feeling like an abusive parent (the children are web accounts in this metaphor) I decide to write a blogtry (blog + entry = blogtry.... it’s called a portmanteau). now blogging isn't something new for me... regular blogging would be but I'm not making any promises, my point is I, until this point, would post my 4-5 yearly blog entries on MySpace... however, since I got my computer at a Turkish bazaar and it has a hard time viewing things with flash, and since MySpace has converted to a format that is pretty much flash embedded with more flash, this means it takes me about 45 seconds to log onto MySpace.... unacceptable ... I mean if I wanted to wait 45 seconds for something I'd put in a microwave burrito (the joke is that I'm fat). So I'm declaring here that I am officially done with MySpace (only 2 years after everybody else, right). So now if you want to know what going on with the life of will-be superstar Simon F. Koch (I changed my middle name to "Fucking") you’re going to have to come here, to this respectable blog joint. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go post blog on MySpace about the new blog address… if I don’t post again in 48 hours notify the police.

p.s. sorry for the Jim Gaffigan–esque interruptions (these) but its something I do (because it’s the easiest and cheapest way of inserting some kind of comic relief) … (what a lazy fuck)