Es, Eye, Emm, Oh, En. Imagine the cheerleaders of my mind spelling that out

So i almost forgot about this for another couple of years (did i really not make a single post in 2012... i guess it was a kinda shitty year) but at the last minute i decided to not do that thing... the thing. so here's what im ready to talk about. as my re-entry to L.A. Looms imminently on the ever widening horizon (that's a fancy way of saying soon, but iunno when exactly)I've looked back on my previous trek westward which was fraught (but not like fraught in a negative way, fraught in like a "of this cookie is fraught with chocolate chips" kinda way) with the filmmakers drive that burns like an ulcer in my stomach on spaghetti night. The last time i drove to L.A. was with my brother of the cosmos Matty J Smith and we stopped all over this country's landmarks making up dirty lies about them all the way. the series we called "American Wheel Brothers: Education" we filmed 1 or 2 a day, and i edited them on mu grrlls mac book while Matt drove. 9 episodes total, though the last one never made it to air (web air... i mean like we never uploaded it) it took us about 4 or 5 episodes to figure out how to use the mic right, but i think we settled into something pretty entertaining, and by which i mean i just watched them and felt good as apposed to my first couple college movies i watch and feel bad about. I basically rate movies with the same chart doctors use to ask children how much pain their in and this was the smiley face that's happy but not so happy he shows his teeth. anyways. check them out they are on youtubez under TheyHurtTheCity which was a thing i did but i guess I'll talk about that another time. I did make a pretty touching clip show from all the best footage and put it to Matt's hilarious song "Rap Snax" which we used for the theme of the show. so i don't think I'll be making another show on this next trip out, (since i lack the fine equipment of my compadre) but surely as the major driving force for me to quote un quote (yes i know i could just use actual ""'s) grow up and move out of my parents house is, yes to move in with my very patient fiance, but also to make more hobby films with Matt and other cherished cast members of my life. so thinking about a season 2, has been on my mind. and there are a few different ways i am thinking we could take it (one of which being to move on and make season 2 into season 1 of something less slap-dash) including touring different parts of the city with the same general motif, green screening our selves into space and making it American wheel brothers: trans-terrestrial, or even playing off the continuing story of matts ghoulish infection which culminated in a finally that no one has, and maybe shouldn't ever see. as well i want to review movies in a funny way with Branden when i get out there ...but that's pretty cut and dry. Man i do not have the attention span to type more than this, So in short... spread your Cheeks L.A. cause I'm coming. and I've got plenty of filmz to makes. Simon's career lull is coming to a close, and pun pun whatever you get it goodbye.

Simon: from rags to nicer rags

headline: Simon still sits around not being productive... world waits with baited breath. so I've been keeping sketch ideas in my iPhone notes app, and yes the important thing to take from that sentence is that i have an iPhone. these sketches range from the dream i had where what eating Gilbert grape took place in a dieing movie rental house, to john Wayne footage with fart sounds added every time he takes a step. some pure gold in there I'm sure. but for the sake of not tipping my hand (cause it really isn't a very good hand) i wont divulge any more A+ Number 1 Ideas .... whats that? ok... one more: a gritty looking alley way, a man leans against a wall smoking a cigarette, suddenly another man walks up to him and asks for a light. off screen we hear a director yell "cut" and pull back to see it is a movie set, the man who asked for the light grabs one of the arri film lights and runs off. so yeah i guess I'm still into making movies but my goal right now is to get to l.a. and find a job that pays well doing anything i can then work on the film stuff on the side. so yeah... not jaded at all. anyways. i recently watched all of the web series "sonic for hire" on machinima s you tube page, its OK, i like it cause i get most of the references, but it is one of those things that's clearly trying to hard to be vulgar/funny and that's kind of annoying, but what can i say i sat through it, and even though they are 2 minute episodes they are into the 6th season of it and have over 2 hours of content. so for now I'll leave you with the soothing sounds of smash mouth's all star* *participants must imagine song in their own head to qualify

simons back, back again...

ok so I'm not going to make a big deal out of it or anything cause at this points there are more posts on this blog about how I'm coming back to the blogosphere and for good this time, then long LONG gaps in posts; then there are not posts that say that. so I'm going to try to do a few before letting on that I have done any. See I've matured a lot. so i guess i talk about my professional life/ celebrity status here which at the moment is in both cases a resounding, "wait-what" so here's the quick run down of the past couple years... graduated college -> saved up to move to L.A. -> moved to L.A. -> blew all my money in L.A. -> back to saving up... oh also i got engaged in there at some point. so I'm working at being a toy dealer at the moment which leaves me plenty of time to work on writing and film projects, although i do not. but I'm pretty close to being back to L.A. with the fiance' this time. this summer for sure. unless its not sure in which case ignore that i said for sure. so anyways rather than fill the third paragraph with empty promises (of which i am the Picasso of) i'll jump right to what is usually the fourth paragraph and talk about some media thing i'm into presently. which is the Children's TV show (a little out of my wheel house i know) "Dan Vs." on the Hub. Now for those of you that don't follow the trade mags the Hub is a new children's network owned by Hasbro which is pretty much entirely designed to promote their toys, and they would have probably have gone belly up if not for the inexplicable fan base of their my little pony's show. Dan Vs. is one of their few and far between shows that arnt based off a toy line (yet) and its about an angry guy, Dan, who seeks revenge on things that cause him minor inconveniences. what it has going for it is some great voice actors, Curtis armstron is the titular character, and cause i wouldn't expect you to know off hand that is the guy who played booger in the revenge of the nerds movies, Dave foley as chris dans best friend, i heard he was screwed buy alimony that was established while he was making tons of money on news radio so he pretty much has to work constantly to eat, and paget brewster as chris wife, she was the voice of bird girl on Harvey bird man attorney at law which was just a spanking good show. what i like about watching these is that it has a very nice middle ground of tone. Dan is crazy violent and often wants to murder people for minor things, and unlike most shows that are too worried about violent images this show will have him hurting stangers and pointing guns at people all manner of tom and jerry style antics not currently embraced by mothers, but it also doesn't tip the hand the other way and feel like its intentionally trying to be shocking and violent to express humor. so i got the first season dvd for $6 and am really enjoying it. if you find yourself playing hooky from work one day and flipping channels i'd say check it out, im giving it 12 out of 15 simon stars* (*open market value for simons stars ~ $2.78) aaaaaannnndddd i've forgoten how to end these.... soooooo...... yeah ... bye ....

A Review of the design work of Simon, Simon, and Sons.

Long time viewers may notice the new look. Recently, I hired the Blog design group that is me to freshen the place up, and frankly they did an awful job. Maybe it was the one outdated PC they had to run their entire operation, or maybe the fact that they did it in 45 minutes, but either way I would recommend not recommending this design firm to update you're next blog or e-vite. their work fills all necessary requirements, (pictures of me not from when I was 19, not being the same design it was, and still being a blog) but it lacks a level of professionalism and clear grasp of competence that one should expect when hiring graphic designers.

and with that I'm opening the Design Me A New Blog / If Anyone Knows A Graphic Designer They Can Recommend To Me Whom Does Stupid Stuff Like This For Free I'd Really Appreciate It Contest. One winner will have the honor of having designed and/or recommended a blog-designer (blogsigner) to me. Also a signed copy of something around me.

Till next time, Be excellent to each other, and PARTY ON DUDES!

Loss of a friend

After my recent post i went back to look at my older posts and found to my surprise that the videos of my old friend and creation, Sim Sim, had been taken down. i attempted to fill out a new sim sim video on the Xtra Normal Website... it was good to hear his voice again, but upon attempting to export it turned out that the service was no longer available for free. and with that Sim Sim officially died. if you would all pour some crystal out for my friend, I'd appreciate it.

Sim Sim
2008 - 2011

shhh... I'm back

My old roommate Greg Mullin said the word "blog" on facebook and made me realize its been a long ass time since I impressed everyone with my whimsical musings... but since I (and you) know I'm prone to not finishing things, I'll try and make a few posts before revealing to the unsuspecting public that I'm back (hence the "shhh" in the title)

So i have a degree now. Film production with a minor in poetry. In short I'm smarter/artier/adjective you respect'er than anyone you or your grammy know. and that's on paper.

But i could spend all day filling you in on my impressive exploits post-ceeding the inauspicious former blog posting. instead I'll do what i am better at and that's hilariously poking fun at myself by making self admitted empty promises. Like that one a little bit ago that said i was going to be posting more... hell I'm not even going to post this unless the cat accidentally sits on the enter key.

So either way SFK:B 2.0 will focus on more projects of varying media, including award winning poetry, my underground comic book publishing, independent toy line production... just about everything except film ... also film. I'll also not just be talking about my own empty promises but the empty promises of those I know too. so if your in the center of that venn-diagram between media makers and my extensive fan-base, Get a hold of me about interviewing you or something. I'll start off with a review of Cleveland based indie 8-bit music group _node_... s'alright. see there is a total value to reading this. now you know that _node_ is, as one journalist recently wrote, "s'alright".

expect more soon. Totally.

P.S. that 50 TV shows thing... worked out amazingly.

I'm on a Mission

So yeah. been a LOOOONG time since i posted ... well buddy, that's going to change because I've just hatched a new scheme. the idea child of two things present in my life currently - 1 = the poetry class with the teacher who told me she decided she was going to write something like 200 haiku's over the course of a year and did, and 2 = the arrival of the last thing i ordered off amazon: "Created by... Inside the Minds of TV's Top Show Creators" by Steven Prigge'. if you haven't guessed it by now i am vowing to create rough outlines for 50 different TV series' over the course of the next year. working out to roughly 1 a week. it no secret My life goal is to create (and have produced) at least one TV series, so now it's time hone the craft. I've penned around 5 well thought out, fully developed sitcoms in my life, but this will be more of an exercise in thinking about shows and practicing development of ideas. I'll be posting what i can here and hopefully all you Hollywood execs wont steal them all. my goal will be to have developed everything in the series up to (and not including) writing the pilot episode. so expect the first one sometime in the next week.

Angry at People

Dear College Humor,
I enjoy checking your site regularly. It provides me with a great way to kill hours between classes, and also keeps me informed of all the latest Internet fads. Your original content is really entertaining too! However, I must express my concern with a certain advertisement that has been appearing on your site recently. Usually I can see how your ad placements reflect the interests of your core demographic, but I am confused on why you would attempt to market that stupid ventriloquist guys lame ass show, Jeff Dumingham or whatever. As far as I can tell college students don’t find him funny unless they are themselves unfunny; or they have drank themselves into a stupor in which they, like 5-year-olds, can only concentrate on puppets. Instead, if you had a site which was called old-guy-who-you-worked-with-at-youre-high-school-job-humor.com I could see how this would be a connection to your audience.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand the need for advertising and fully appreciate that sponsors are the reason you can continue to make me laugh. Although, I will unfortunately not be able to check you site for the duration of this ad, as the mere thought of Dumb-ham makes me want to jump out of a window. He is so bad, he almost makes me miss Carlos Mencia. If you could please let me know when the ad for his show will stop running I’d greatly appreciate it.
Sincerely,
Simon Koch
Senior- Bowling Green State University

Soon

New Post soon.

Now you can see how bored i look while i write things that will bore you later

So i haven't made a blog in a while. i was relying on those Green Screen Vlogs for a while, (mostly to report on stuff that all fell through) but i cant do those now that I'm living with my parents for the summer, and they hardly have enough space to consider a decent working studio. any ways, i figure it'll be just as good to record myself typing this blog... right... that's the same thing. if it helps you can play it and listen to me type as you read it. I'll wave at the point where i get to this sentence. any ways

real news. well... actually i have no real news. I'm a crippled artist. living at home. i could tell you all kinds of fun about my personal life, like how I'm back at the gas station working for the summer, or how i got to read/write a speech for my brothers wedding last week. that was fun. but any who. still working on the feature film script. still working on a spec script for a popular Disney channel cartoon (this is when i burp in the video) and someone showed me a contest where you can submit a pilot and fox will make the winning script. i might go over hobo town and submit that. remember hobo town?, that thing i said i was going to do a while ago. any ways. if you haven't herd my internships in California had to be canceled due to legal issues... that's right the fine state of Ohio just doesn't want me to leave and it's going to sick its lawyers on me until i realize there's no way out.

in case you were wondering I'm playing mc frontalot on those stylish headphones.

well this video is getting long so I'm going to stop. maybe I'll do something worth talking about soon ... then i can talk about it. later.



(wow, just looked that over, took me 7 minutes to write, probably wont take you 7 minutes to read.)

oh yeah i'm on twitter now too, so yeah ... https://twitter.com/simonkoch

Green Screen Blog, April 7th

Green Screen Blog, March 2nd

Simon's Green Screen Blog, Feb. 9th 2009

because none of you said anything i had to put sim sim to rest. i hope your happy.

Ok i promise i'm going to finish the script now that this is posted

Also: I need to post this song. It's got such an amazing keyboard solo.
(note: this is the only version of the song on youtube that isn't live or y phish)

Introducing Sim Sim

let me know if this is working for any of you

And to all...

Merry Christmas... and to all you non Christmas supporters enjoy your December 25th. I've only got a little bit to type before i go to work ... yeah some of us have to work on Christmas day ... and some f us are also getting time and a half. So lets make this quick. grades came in... i got : 2 B's, a C, an INC, couple of S's, some 12's and a two pair queens high. but apparently that's a lot better than i thought it was. I'm not on academic probation. my final project for Moonsik's digital film and technology class is up on you tube. i can use this space to make excuses for all the things i feel are bellow my capabilities. first of all it was severely rushed that's why there is no music in it at all, and also why there is a planet that is literally a circle with its name written on it in front of an ms paint star scape. I'm not going to post it here but i will put the link, because it actually fills the new wide screen youtube boxes also of the page you can click "watch in HD" but for some reason the HD version of the film drops frames and looses 30 seconds of footage by the end, which makes the audio and video not match up at all. any ways:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTEq0hkl-Hs

well any ways i got 2 and a half weeks till school starts again and the things i need to write while home include : bad genetics skit, script fro falcon film festival, new draft of hobo show (still don't know what i want to do with it) and a police report explaining why i snapped working Christmas day at a gas station when some asshole complained that they didn't get their 2 cents off of gas. you'd think people would be nicer this time of year, but they are even more asshole-ish than ever. oh well, i need the money and at least this job doesn't leave my mouth numb. I'm of course talking about when i became a test subject for dentistry students.

What I'm listening to:
Video game commentary, it is the funniest stuff I've ever herd. these people take it so seriously and if your lucky they have funny accents.

Remember when you were young and naive... and you thought the internet would never run out

each and every day more and more people beg me .. "Simon, Simon... for the love of everything cute please update your blog or I'll kill myself" and it only took 3 of them going through with it to actually get me on here. well that's a lie ... I'm only here case i don't want to start working on finals stuff and the internet is empty of fresh content ... i was searching random people i know from school in Google and it turns out a lot of them also keep blogs... blogs which i am to lazy to read and haven't been updated in months, but still. now here is why this upsets me (and I'll get to my professional update in a minute) Friday during my weekly buffet club meeting, I'm one of the founding AND fattest members, my "friends" pointed out to me that i may exhibit a lot of common traits with a conventional social subset known most commonly as "hipsters." i have never thought of myself as a subscriber to the hipster identity nor any other identity (besides hopeless romantics and fat people) and it bothers me that i can be classified as a cliche'. but the more i thought about it, the more i think ... wow almost everybody i associate with has a blog, and hipsters are known for trying not to be hipsters, and according to my once again quotation-marked "friends" i have a messenger bag which is apparently something only hipsters have... seriously ... i though messenger bags were normal. i thought further and realized, I'm a film major, who writes, and is obsessed with going to New York... God damn it ... its very depressing. but any ways ... i cant let this affect how i run my life, cause then I'm trying to not be something which is just as bad or worse than trying to be something, so i figure all i can do is slowly work more polo's into my wardrobe. my blog has also been called to wordy, so i guess I'll try and get to the point.

professionally I'm exactly where I've been for months. head full of ideas, no time to put any of them together because I'm to busy procrastinating things, and dreaming that one day i wont be procrastinating. but supposedly I've got things coming together down the pipeline. Greg and i have briefly talked about when we're filming the hobo show... looks like probably next fall giving me all summer to get the scripts just right which i will need since i keep reformatting them every time i get them together (I'm thinking about going back to 6 episodes). and the bad genetics stuff is finally smoothed out enough that i might actually get a chance to write something. also been putting some recent thought into my self published poem / comic book idea. i guess I'm going to have a sequel to Space Force Five up sometime this week, but really ... don't get excited about it. it was just for a class assignment to show that i can edit split screen and put "lazers" over footage.

started looking for summer internships, so anyone with connections now is the time to pass them along to me. I'm going to be in new york for the summer, one way or another. and i'd like to be getting school credit for it. ones I'm looking at include: writing assistant for the Connan O'Brien show, development for comedy central, and suppream overlord of the east coast. other incredibly delusional suggestions welcome ... (realistic ones will be accepted begrudgingly)

well my attention span for writing these things is really short and I've been at this for over 4 minutes now ... so I'm going to go take a nap and wake up to watch some more TV before i play some online games and maybe eventually get to finals papers.


oh yeah what i'm listening to :
lets go with Tally Hall, they are a semi-successful band out of Anne Arbor Michigan (20 minutes or so down the road from me) but their videos are amazing and they are producing a web show that has a new episode every other Monday on their website www.tallyhall.com

and it's been awhile.... since I could... remember the rest of those words to that crappy song

yeah right, so its been something like a month sine i posted anything... my bad. but you know i want to keep this for info about my pre-career work, and I've been pretty fully devoted to my school work. lame i know. I'm sure my hiatus has discouraged both of my readers so there really is no point in me doing this anymore. but just like film school not having a reason to do it is apparently good enough for me.

So yeah, pre-career stuff. my hobo show has been seriously pushed back due to various reasons including a complete overhaul of the format. so hopefully I'll get a chance to work on that over winter break.

I also wrote a script for major event (a bgsu film major requirement in which all film majors pretend they have a good idea and allow themselves to let people they don't know criticize it) the basic concept of which was, besides shit i have to have a script under 10 pages, that a good guy is walking down the street with a bad guy and they bad guy gets hit by a car. deep i know. but I'll never do anything with that; unless professor Vasquez asks then i turned it into a script competition and had it WGA registered.
Also scripts for Bad Genetics are coming and going. with our serious upheaval in the amount of short sketches we're doing this year we have been needing a goat load of scripts and while I'm trying to sit back and let other people, under my mighty reign as co-head staff writer, get their chance to produce their scripts, I'm still getting a lot of time to help out on shoots. i was producer-ing some of them but I've decide to go back to my roots and blow all my money on uselessly obscure dvds. so yeah, Simon is poor again. So don't ask me for money... I'll ask you.

since i feel like after so long i need to post more I'm going to come up with a project on the fly and tell you I'm working on it. the idea is that a fat guy asks the girl of his dreams to marry him and she says she wants him to get healthier. and he feels like he is being asked to change his subcultural identity and decides that it is a terrible thing to ask someone to do so he leaves her and lives his life alone and sad but content that he knows who he is. its a heart warming drama with a significant ideological meaning, but it stars a fat guy so everyone will think its a comedy. seriously i was watching heavyweights the over day (one of the dvds i blew my money on) and the film which i recalled as being the most powerful statement about fat culture being something to be proud of, was still telling fat people that they have to change. i want to make something that praises the delight of cellulite. as someone who is a white man with nothing else to cling on i take it very serious. what makes being fat as a subculture great is that anyone can join, but at the same time the most successful fat people lose their fat. but what ever, your probably just looking at this and thinking "wait Simon is proud of being fat? what a delusional blubber burgling fatty McPork sandwich. but yeah ... that script will never get made.

starting to kind of look for internships i know i have to do one this summer and I've already got an offer to be roommates with someone in NYC who might have just been trying to be polite. but if that's the case I'm still going to guilt my way on to their lease.

scheduled for classes for next semester and I know i just said i wouldn't talk about personal things right before going into a fat person rant, but its kind of related in that i found out that i can only take 2 more film classes until i graduate in a year and a half(and yes I'm stocked (stoked... have i been spelling that wrong for years?) to find out that i can still graduate on time... thought i fucked that up). but yeah most of the rest of my time here will be to complete my creative writing minor which i thought about changing but have recently decided against. i hate to admit it but poetry is pretty fun. even though focusing my minor on fiction might help me more i might focus it on poetry so that i don't have to read as much. and so i can be more pretentious... who doesn't love being pretentious.

so i guess that's all now for what I'm listening too:
The Top by Francis and the Lights... perfect for people who want a white Prince

MAC ATTACK

Got my iMac in the mail today and i am making my first post from the non windows world. since i have time while all kinds of programs that i may or may not need are updating and doing whatever it is programs do while no on is around ... drink i assume. any ways, THIS THING IS SO BAD ASS! i wish i could have sex with it... but i didn't buy that upgrade. speaking of for you nerds out there its the 20 inch 2.66 ghz with 2 gb ram and 320 gb hard drive. thats all for now i've got cool person things to do.

crazy busy

sorry guys... but i am just way to busy as of late to post stuff. our 48 hours film which was this weekend fell apart and I've got about 3-4 scripts to write for various other stuff. papers and stuff too. I'll try to post some more details on why my life has been crazy hectic sometime... but not to soon.